A Confused Northerner

I used to be a fervent Nigerian patriot, proudly displaying Nigerian colors as a muffler, donning the green-white-green badge on my suit, and even placing the Nigerian flag on my car dashboard. It saddened me deeply to hear negative news about Nigeria, but I always maintained optimism, assuring friends that our country would overcome its challenges soon. Some even accused me of being uncharacteristically optimistic for a Nigerian, as many prefer to criticize the country or disassociate themselves entirely.

However, my beliefs were shaken when I encountered perplexing posts and comments predominantly from Southern Nigeria, particularly the Southeast. These individuals identified as Nigerians, held Nigerian passports, yet their sentiments and opinions seemed at odds with my understanding of national unity. Intrigued and somewhat disillusioned, I conducted investigations, verifying through social media accounts linked to Facebook, and confirmed that these commentators were indeed Nigerian.

The content of these posts and comments challenged my belief in a united Nigeria. Despite ongoing insurgency issues in the North, I had always believed in our collective resilience as Nigerians. I vehemently opposed groups like the Nigerian Taliban, believing their actions detrimental even to Muslims they claimed to defend.

From childhood, we recited “Arise, O Compatriots” with a strong sense of duty and loyalty to Nigeria. Yet, current events have eroded my confidence in fulfilling this pledge. My sense of national identity is waning, though I still acknowledge my Nigerian heritage, the bond that once defined me as Nigerian no longer feels as strong.

Comments alone cannot sway my allegiance or diminish my hope for Nigeria, the country I once proudly called the Mother of Africa and Giant of Africa. Yet, Chinua Achebe’s book, “There Was a Country,” left a profound impact. Achebe, a respected intellectual, highlighted deep-seated ethnic tensions, tribalism, religious conflicts, and political turmoil in Nigeria. His critique, particularly of Northern Nigeria, troubled me deeply, especially given his stature and influence.

This prompted me to revisit the history of past Nigerian leaders, particularly during the Sardauna/Balewa era, which initially inspired hope with its regional balance and distinct leadership styles. However, revelations from historical footage and Achebe’s narratives left me conflicted, especially regarding sentiments expressed by figures like Sardauna against the Igbo people. This contrasted sharply with my previous perceptions, causing considerable introspection.

Born in the late 80s, I witnessed seven presidents in Nigeria’s tumultuous political landscape. Attempts to find positive narratives beyond figures like Balewa and Sardauna proved futile. Questions lingered about their assassinations and the lack of justice surrounding these events. I concluded that tribalism, fanaticism, and other divisive forces likely contributed to their tragic fates.

Today, my perspective on Nigeria has shifted. I feel compelled to align more closely with my Muslim, Fulani, Hausa-speaking heritage from Kano. These identities feel more authentic than my former Nigerian nationalism. I remain committed to my tribe, religion, and true allies, pledging allegiance to any entity that embodies these values.

I yearn for my fellow Nigerians to awaken to the realities I’ve come to see. I hope they recognize the slipping opportunities and heed the visions of leaders like Sardauna and Balewa. I dream of a renewed nation where patriotism and shared values reign, where I can once again proudly display Nigerian symbols without hesitation.

2 Replies to “A Confused Northerner”

  1. We don’t have leaders like sardauna and balewa any longer those so called northern elites are all pen robbers, begging, illetaracy, we are lagging behind in almost every thing I don’t blame achebe and his people untill we have good northerners before we even think of having our northern nig. As country. For now more grease to ur elbow for the write up

  2. Absolutely right my brother, congratulations to you on reclaiming your lost identity. How i wish we could engrave our true ID in the mind of every northern Nigerian child, so don’t suffer the pain of our kind of “illusions” of living our fakes.

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